Wounds are Wounds

via Wounds are Wounds

Just because he’s a priest doesn’t mean he’s honest

 

When you deploy, let’s just say somewhere far, far, far away.  Far from your family, your home, your life as you knew it.  To a foreign land, full of unseen sites, people, cultures.  What do you do?  Well, as for me, being in the military, I jumped in both feet and started experiencing things.  As they say “try to make the best of the situation”. What I didn’t know, was how many people just wanted to take advantage of a female alone in the desert

When I arrived that week just before Easter, I was in awe.  Wow, I’m here to do something for my country.  Do something I never thought I would do.  Carry a weapon and fight at my age.  I asked myself over and over again “What are you thinking”?  And the answer…doing good things for good people in a bad situation.

So, I could start with the first officer who proceeded to use me as their deployment toy, or where I truly need to start, the priest.  The one I’ve been holding in for years.  The mention of his name makes me cry.  The one that broke down all my ability to trust, who not only used his status being an officer but being a man of the cloth.  I think that’s where it truly hurt.

Church, week after Easter.  Those Catholics out there know the sermon well, Doubting Thomas.  The sermons had me so moved, I had never heard it delivered that way.  Fast forward to the end of mass and I’m thanking this priest so much.  Thank you for your sermon, your service, etc, etc.  It was truly inspirational I said to him.  We continued to chat and I informed him that I had just arrived in Country and that I will be attending regularly to this mass.  I explained that I was going thru a horrible divorce and was fighting the fight, doing something out of my comfort zone.  Improving the quality of my life as well as my children’s lives by joining.  He was quite gracious and kind and such a great listener.  He thanked me for the kind words and I thought what a nice way to start off my time here while I “embrace the suck”.

The following week I’m in my office and I bump into him in the copy room.  Weird, because at this point I was not putting two and two together.  I had no idea that he was the same person (priestly robes vs. army uniform).  But shortly after this random encounter I received an email in my enterprise account (those non military that’s the outlook account) First, how in the hell did he find me?  Second, Why was this priest sending me an email message?  Do they do this for soldiers so far from home?  Well, it didn’t take long for me to respond.  After that the emails kept flying back and forth.  He was going to his place of birth to see his family with members of his previous congregation.  To be exact two females of his previous congregation.  Odd, but okay.  He is a very outgoing priest who is concerned about his church members.  Got it!

Then I received my first Skype call from him. Late at night while I was alone in my Containerized Housing Unit (CHU).  The conversation went pretty awkward.  We discussed where he went with the two ladies to his place of birth, playing tourists throughout the city, etc.  I inquired as to their location at this time.  He informed me quite nonchalantly that they were in their individual hotel rooms.  He then asked for a picture of me?!!!!!!!!???  A WHAT????!!!  Um, Let’s just say I sent him a photo of myself, just my face, but a photo of me.  He then asked me to stay on the Skype video chat, at least he wanted to stay on to watch me sleep?  Mind you, I’m all alone in a scary place, and this was the only person who treated me like I was an individual who needed a little guidance to get thru this deployment unscathed.

So, as his rest and relaxation (R&R) continued for the next two weeks I was his morning Skype call, his midday email, his evening Skype call.  Each time he was requesting more and more of me.  Talking to me as if a kindred spirit.  He knew I was alone (everyone else was in theatre when I arrived.  So basically the entire deployment I was an outsider, besides I was much older than the rest of them)

 

SAMSUNG

One of the nights he had me on Skype he was like, “let me see your body”.  I noticed in his camera his hand was making a gentle stroking motion.  It was obvious he was stroking himself.  I don’t know if I was shocked or flattered.  Please don’t judge me on this.  When  man of the cloth is supposedly not allowed to have sexual contact, don’t you think the person he is doing this in front of in a way feels honored (and let me say CREEPED OUT at the same time).

I’ll bring us up to the time he returned back to theatre (military lingo for down range location).  He arrived back late at night.  And I mean LATE!  He called me on the Skype and wanted to make sure I was awake.  If anyone knows deployments, sleep sucks, so of course I’m awake.  He immediately ran over to my CHU.  What happened after that has haunted me and confused me to this day, 8 years to the date.  He grabbed and hugged me (how is this wrong priests are supposed to be loving people) until his gaze met mine, reaching his fingers out to caress my face cradling it in his strong hands and passionately kissed me……

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